Written in Pencil

We're all written in pencil, we just never know when we'll be erased. My grandpa said that during lunch today, and that got me thinking about how quickly our lives come and go, as well as what I was doing with the short time I have been given to make an impact.
As the header of the blog says, this is a documentation of my own personal search for meaning in my life. I by no means intend for it to be a guide or road map from which others should take counsel from and live their life by. Truly, nothing is more important in life than finding one's own purpose and living that to its fullest. My hope is, however, that my own personal journey will be one enlightening enough to spark others and give them impetus in their own search in our anthropocentric society for more than just the self, but to truly understand what it means to transcend the corporeal world and, as Plato would say, leave the cave behind.
My life is transitory, every moment in the past is made new in what I experience in the future. There is no specific plan set out before me for things I must do or must accomplish, just things I could do or could accomplish. I do not believe in some pre-mortal destiny, just eternal possibility and purpose. Each moment we are face with a choice we are writing the history of our lives and deciding who we are becoming. It's written in pencil because as we grow, we understand the path and its purposes differently. We see the chain of events that brought us to where we are.
The question, then, becomes not what we have done or who we were, but what we are going to do to make the best of the direction we are heading, and how we can use what we have to change where we're heading.
Maybe you have been on a path that has brought you much happiness and pleasure, and you feel nothing is missing from your life. Or maybe you have made many mistakes and you feel like there's no coming back. No matter the person you were, there is more you can be. There is more you must be.
The world would tell us that our purpose is to simply find happiness in any way possible, that we shouldn't offend anyone and make sure everyone is perfectly comfortable in their sheltered lives. Well, I don't prescribe to that worldview. I believe that the issues we have today are because we are too scared to offend, because the world looks down on those who stand up and stand out. We all want to be unique enough to be "me," but similar enough that we are part of "us." Don't we understand that lives of double meaning have no meaning at all? If we are too busy trying to be what everyone else expects of us, then we will never be the people we have the potential to be.
The more you allow others' opinions to dictate your existence, the less and less you truly exist. But every moment, every decision, leads to a cascade of events that start to shape and craft us into who we are becoming. And we are all becoming less and less people, but more like sheep- being lulled into security and passiveness, not willing to stand up and speak up for our morals.
We have lost sight of what makes us truly unique in the world- our voices. There is no group without individuals, and when we lose sight of who we are individually, then we let go of the building blocks of society.
There is a saying that none of us is as smart as all of us. In some cases that may be true, but in most, I fear, the true saying is none of us is as dumb as all of us. When we lose sight of who we are, we develop "us" vs "them" as our mentality. We lose love for our neighbors. We forget that we are all children of God on a planet striving to survive and experience the beauties and wonders life has to offer.
Man has the potential to perform miracles; how often do we lose sight of that in the pursuit of simple pleasures? How often do we forget about who we are, whose we are, and what we were sent here to do?
Just because life is written in pencil doesn't mean we don't have to worry about what we're doing or where we're headed. Sure, past can be erased and overcome, but the pencil smudges will still be there. The imprint of the formerly written words will remain. We are not us without our past. But we are not us without a future.
We don't know when our time will come, when the words will no longer be written. But we can decide what kind of story we leave behind.
Life is about waking up to the reality of the world and doing what we can in the service of others, building others up, overcoming our own weaknesses, being merciful towards others, and helping them grow.
There are universal truths which cannot be ignored. Meaning and morality are not relative. There are things expected of us.
Each of us will fulfill those expectations in different ways, and in that is found our personal meaning and adventure. But the expectations are the same. We are all to do good and be good, and help others to do so. There is no time to worry about whether or not we are offending people. Because there is no reason to apologize for the truth.
It's time for the world to wake up and realize that there's more to existence than just gratifying the self. We must band together and fight against all that is wrong in the world, so that we may all, as brothers and sisters, overcome in the end.
And then what a story will be left for those that come after. Written in pencil, but kept in their hearts.

Coming back

I have to be honest. I totally forgot I even had a blog, since the only reason I actually made this thing was to fulfill an assignment for a high school English class. But today I received a comment on one of my posts that I'm going to take as an invitation to start writing again.
I've been blessed to spend a lot of time with family this week, and doing so has opened my eyes to a very poignant truth: who I am has long been unknown to those closest to me. My thoughts and search for meaning seems to be an enigma to those around me. You see, I search for depth of meaning. I'm rather existentialist you might say. Nothing to the extent of Kierkegaard or Nietzsche, although I do aspire to be so thoughtful as a philosopher. No, but I do seek out meaning. And without meaning, I do feel some existential angst.
We really have been thrust into a world that forces us to find out what it means to be human, to embrace not only the good and the bad within ourselves but to fight to create something more of us than we otherwise would have been. The purpose of life is not only to exist but to overcome, to enjoy, to become. I seek to know the why of life to better understand the best way to live.
What does it mean to be alive? What is the great blessing of being human? How do I come to know what is reality? What consequences do my ideas and beliefs hold that should guide how I live my life?
There is no idea without a consequence. Everything ever spoken or believed has shaped the face of human existence for good or for bad. In my pursuit of knowledge and the good life, am I letting the best idea win out or just the idea I want to win? Do I shape the truth to my life, or is my life shaped by the truth? Is there truly such thing as objectivity in a completely rose colored world? Can I, as a thinking, purposive agent ever come to know a completely objective truth, existing outside of my own being? Or am I forever doomed to seek out things only as they are true for me?
What is morality? What is the good life? Is there really a God above who guides us and cares for us and who has laid down a moral law that my life should conform to in order to experience true and lasting happiness? Or is this life all that there is, just a random conglomeration of matter in motion, utterly deterministic and materialistic with no meaning, aim, morality, or guiding principle? How can a person find happiness in a world devoid of meaning?
These are questions that shape my existence and my relationships with myself and others. If I can figure out the right way to view the world, then I can figure out the right way to live my life- what it means to live the good life.
Life is full of questions. Join me in the search for answers.